My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero
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  • Henry Deals With This

    Posted on February 13th, 2007 Ben 12 comments

    “Henry you moron,” remarks a sensual, savagely erotic voice filled with confidence and amusement. “It seems you do have some balls after all.”

    “Uh….” I attempt to cover up, but for some reason my clothes have turned to rags, and ash. So, instead I stand tall and proud and erect and naked, and respond with renewed energy in my deep booming superheroic voice; “Bees Knees… uh… hi.”

    “We have unfinished business, Henry.”

    “Yes. Yes we do!” I agree, stalling for time. Out of the corner of my mouth I hiss for my companion, Mr Enthusiasm, to make a run for it while I deal with the evil overlord and her evil yet enticingly smooth legs, and her firm, round… “Make a run for it,” I hiss, “I will deal with this!”

    “Oh, Henry!” she gushes, like a slightly distressed damsel. She gazes deeply into my eyes and my heart lurches three feet sideways, leaving me pale, and breathless with longing for her sweet touch.

    “Oh, Bees!” I gush, while Mr Enthusiasm sprints for the nearest exit and the reader nods knowingly. Shut up. I am not throwing in this scene as some kind of hopelessly transparent ploy to win the “Most Romantic Male Blogger” award at the “Really Fucking Stupid Blog Awards“. Go over there right now and vote for me in the comments. This has been a subliminal announcement. Thank you.

    “Alone at last, Henry.” I watch as she crosses the distance between us to my aching arms. My eyes absorb each sensual movement of her lithe figure as though to preserve the essence of her forever in this brain thingy. My ultra-enhanced olfactory sense is bathed in her deeply erotic scent, the heat of it washing over me irresistible and overwhelming and dark, an ocean of longing so wide that even my superheroic powers of knowing where I am cannot prevail, and I will be lost forever in her… in her… in Her.

    And then she is in my arms, and we are, and she is, and I am… and it is ethereal, fleeting, eternal, my brain pounding with desire, as though she is beating me repeatedly about the head and I just haven’t noticed yet.

    “Hey!” I complain slightly, because I think it would probably be a good thing if she could please stop beating me repeatedly about the head.

    “Fuck, Henry, what’s it take to crack this thing open anyway?”

    “Ugh…” I slip into darkness, my heart already breaking in anticipation of becoming separated from my snookems at the moment of impending death…

     

    12 responses to “Henry Deals With This”

    1. “My name is Henry the Adequate, and I am a superhero”
      yes you are a superhero. lol
      know what?
      you have exactly way to much time to write blogs all the time
      lol.

    2. I can stop if you like. ;)

    3. About Satan… no one else has had a problem with the link.
      I’m not sure why it’s not working for you.
      This is the link:
      http://www.emailsfromjesus.com/

      I’m really not sure why you can’t access it.

    4. Henry is on the verge of becoming a erotica superhero. The question is…is Ben?

    5. Oh yes, I’m verging alright. I am almost entirely verged. If I were any more verged I would need to be mowed. Well, apart from the superhero bit. That’s Henry’s thing, not mine. My thing is… well it’s pretty impressive, but I can’t go into details about that here.

    6. I knew it. I just knew “it” was impressive. Of course….details aren’t necessary. Besides, I’m sort of a superhero myself being Windfall Woman and all. So I used my special powers. Now I know……you know…..those “Ben” details and all. My fingers are shaking from the knowledge. I can barely type.

    7. Don’t worry. It’s to be expected.

      Now that you mention it, I’m guessing there could be a place for somebody known as Windfall Woman in my story. But hero or villain?

    8. OH……she’s definitely both. Trust me on this CF.

    9. Oh…..and I see I missed wishing Henry AND Ben a Happy Valentine’s Day. So Happy belated Valentine’s Day you two.

    10. I must admit to being very cynical on the whole valentine’s day thing. Mostly on account of not getting any cards it being total crap.

    11. Perhaps you did not receive any cards due to the fact that you provide no address?

    12. Naaaah, couldn’t be that. ;)