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Henry’s Tech Advice #3 - Python Functions @ Henry the Adequate
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  • Henry’s Tech Advice #3 - Python Functions

    Posted on May 26th, 2006 Ben 3 comments

    Felinn asks “In python, how do you call functions? Also, is there an ni function?

    First, you need a function coordinator. This is a person who organizes the whole thing - the band, food, seating, comedy breasts, and other stuff like that. More importantly, this is also the person who gets the blame when things go badly.

    Next you need to yell loudly at the function coordinator whenever (s)he tries to do anything, or tries not to do anything, or makes any kind of suggestion, or comes at all close to attempting to do (s)her job. After all, that’s what you hired them for. Remember, it doesn’t matter if the whole thing is a complete disaster because, well, at least you have somebody to blame.

    Now, in the Python computer programming thingy there is a kind of a virtual function coordinator, and it is very important to realize how to deal with this “person”, or it would be, except that Python handles all of that for you, so that when you have a function like this:

    def mygreatfunction(thingy):
        do something cool

    you can just call it like this:

    mygreatfunction(I would like the veal)

    … and all of the yelling and abuse and blaming is done in the background without you even having to lift a finger.

    Isn’t that nice.

    Oh, and about the “ni function” - Don’t go messing with low level functions like that. It’s dangerous. Seriously. If you get it wrong - calling it in a forever loop, for example, you’ll end up with infinite shrubberies. That might sound good, but trust me, it’s not.

    Need help with computer stuff? Henry can help. I promise a timely and definitive response to any technical question asked in the comments here.

    Glossary
    promise - vaguely suggest that something might happen, if you’re really really lucky.
    timely - If it occurs at all it will be within the context of the space-time continuum.
    definitive - My response may contain some definitions, such as these.

     

    3 responses to “Henry’s Tech Advice #3 - Python Functions”

    1. The smart ass part of me understands, the technical deficient idiot laughs insanely…

    2. There’s nothing technical about that post :)

    3. Thanks, I was only feeling a little ignorant before!